


The Loudest Minds

by Bezzz



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Background Neil Hargrove, Billy Hargrove Lives, Billy Hargrove Needs a Hug, Billy Hargrove Redemption, Good Parent Joyce Byers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Steve Harrington, Protective Steve Harrington, Soft Billy Hargrove, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:42:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24987742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bezzz/pseuds/Bezzz
Summary: Having survived Starcourt, a very different Billy Hargrove emerges from hospital a few weeks later and falls in with Steve Harrington and the gang of misfits that go along with his friendship. How does he cope with so many people suddenly having stakes in his life?"Quiet people have the loudest minds" -Stephen Hawking
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Comments: 56
Kudos: 282





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello I might accidentally be starting this as a new WIP.  
> Dangerous territory considering I go back to work in 2 weeks!  
> Let me know what you think in the comments..

Steve had been surprised to see Billy sunk into the corner of the sofa next to his step-sister in Joyce’s living room when he turned up for the weekly dinner get together, but he reckoned he played it off quite cool.

He’d spent more time with Billy in this last month or so since he’d come out of hospital than the whole year he’d known him previously. He’d verge on saying they were good friends by now. Billy still wasn’t allowed to drive, something to do with the position was apparently not great for his healing injuries or giving his core the rest it needed. So Steve had taken to driving Billy around a bit in the evenings, not like, care in the community, but just bros helping bros. He also picked Max up on his rounds, to save her having to ask Neil for a ride. Billy was grateful for that, he’d told him so, in so few words too.

He didn’t use many words at all anymore, the loud and in your face Billy seemed to have died with the mind flayer, leaving behind a pensive and quiet person. Who enjoyed sharing a smoke and listening to albums from start to finish and reading paperbacks in twilight, but not sharing many of his thoughts out loud. Steve didn’t mind, he kind of got it, especially the talking about your experiences thing that everyone told him he should do it lessen the load of his ‘trauma’.

“Alright nerds!” Steve greeted the room, mainly aiming his greeting to the squash on the other sofa of Mike, El, Will and Dustin. Lucas was at the kitchen table with Jonathan, heads over a book deep in discussion about something Steve was certain he didn’t want to know about, so he slipped passed them to dish himself up some of the leftovers. He’d felt awkward at first just wandering around Joyce’s house like he owned the place, but like everyone else he’d quickly settled into it.

He dished up his plate, some sort of casserole with roasted potatoes on the side, grabbed a knife and fork and went back to the lounge where there was a film playing and everyone was just finishing their dinners off laps.  
  
“Good day Steve?” Joyce asked as Steve came back in, she was sat at the other end of the sofa to Max and Billy, a gap big enough for one of the kids to put a bum down, but Steve knew it wasn’t happening so he stood at the door for a moment.  
  
“Yeah really quiet, other than Mrs. Jenkins wanting to rent out about 20 videos for 24 hours, and not accepting the fact she couldn’t watch them all in that time.”  
  
Joyce smiled fondly, Max laughed, Dustin had something to say. “Well she could actually, but she would need 2 VHS machines and be playing two tapes at the same time.” Steve heard Max’s eyes roll, he glanced to Billy whose attention was firmly on the TV, but Steve knew him well enough to know he was listening.

“Dustin, _you_ might be a freaky weirdo, but I’m pretty sure Mrs. Jenkins is just stupid.”

The laughter than rung from the kids sofa made Steve feel like Seinfeld, he loved an audience, loved making it laugh even more, maybe that was his calling in life. He decided the best place for him to eat was the sofa arm beside Billy, he took his plate and crossed the room, glancing to the TV, “So what are we watching?”

He perched with one leg up on the edge of the sofa so he could eat and see the TV, a big slug was talking to a girl in a bikini and it was already beyond him.

“Return of the Jedi!” Will said excitedly, Steve knew that was Star Wars. He worked in a video shop after all. Steve also knew he was wind-up merchant and mischief tickled his mouth.  
  
“Oh, Star Trek right?”

The uproar in the room was the sort of energy Steve thrived on, Dustin actually crossed the room towards Steve as if he were going to tip his plate over and then slap him with it, the only thing stopping him seemed to be that he would have to pass by Billy’s glare.  
  
“You’re a joke!” Mike shouted, “Such an idiot, I don’t even know why we are friends with you!”  
  
Steve was laughing and his eyes met Eleven’s across the room, mischievous understanding passing between them. Having gotten to know that girl, he really appreciated her. She was smart and funny and Steve felt he could adopt her as a mischievous prodigy. 

The party only calmed down when Joyce raised her voice, “He’s messing with you!” She laughed, shaking her head in disbelief, “Look at his face.”  
  
Steve made a face at them but couldn’t hide the smile threatening the corners of his mouth, all eyes in the room were on him, but he chose to meet Billy’s, sharing his amusement with his friend.

Steve leaned back across the back of the sofa, to balance his plate on his lap so he could eat and watch the film at the same time. He was encroaching on Billy’s space, but they’d spent enough time together that they were both comfortable with each other, often stretching out into each other’s space on the sofa for a movie. Steve relished his time at Joyce’s, it was normal now. At first the whole thing had been incredibly overwhelming, having people around to ask about his day and be interested in the answer. Having people who would tease him, but in a good-natured way, people around to play basketball in the drive with, to play cards with after dinner. It hurt because it was so good, and he’d managed to get all the way to being an adult without experiencing family to the fullest.

While Steve wasn’t looking, a hand made its way up onto his plate and stole a potato, Steve saw it disappear off as he went for another mouthful of casserole himself. He elbowed Billy lightly in the shoulder and frowned down, speaking with his mouthful.  
  
“There’s leftovers in the kitchen if you’re still hungry.” He mumbled, stabbing another potato before he’d even finished his mouthful. Billy just shrugged noncommittally, rolling his eyes at Steve in a way that read ‘yeah but this food is right here’. Max leaned over Billy to address Steve, as if making a point.  
  
“He didn’t _want_ any dinner.” She said, as if tattling on him to a teacher.  
  
Billy reached up again for another roast potato, and this time Steve just gave him the fork with potato on that was originally destined for his own mouth.  
  
“Are you hungry?” Steve asked as Billy took the fork out of his hand and popped the potato into his mouth, he didn’t answer Steve, an attitude akin to 1984 Billy painted on his features as he made a point of ignoring Steve.  
  
“Billy.” Steve demanded, taking the fork out of his hand to force his attention back to himself. “Are you hungry?” It was moments like these he didn’t need to imagine why he got ripped into about being the mother of the group, he made a mental note of that thought.

“Yeah.” Billy grumbled through his full mouth; Steve’s eyes flicked to Joyce who met the look. Dustin punched Mike in the arm.  
  
“Oh fuck! What was that for?” Mike grumbled, rubbing the assaulted spot.  
  
“He just spoke, you owe me five bucks!” Dustin said, basically bouncing in his spot.

All eyes in the room were on Billy now, Max had leaned forward a little defensively. That was another surprise to Steve, how close they’d become since Starcourt, they were a proper sibling unit now, Billy would kill for that girl if the situation arose. And Max was always checking in with Steve about how Billy was when he was with him, as if she were checking he didn’t play a part with Steve. It was kinda sweet.

Billy was about to pull himself up, some sort of rage radiating off him, Steve was surprised the kids hadn’t noticed it because it was fogging up the whole front room. Steve put a hand on Billy’s arm to push him gently back into his seat. Max felt it because she spoke.  
  
“He can speak you know, it’s just-“  
  
Billy cut in to speak for himself, “It’s just I don’t feel the need to waste my breath on little snot goblins like you.” He waved at the 4 gaping kids on the opposite sofa before actually pulling himself up past Steve’s hand and leaving through the back door.

Steve dropped himself off the arm of the sofa into the vacated space to finish his meal, wanting to say something to the kids, but not knowing which words to choose that would respect Billy’s privacy but also clue them into how the guy was still feeling about the whole upside down shit show of only a couple of months prior. Joyce paused the video and spoke anyway, and Steve felt she had more authority on the topic anyway, so reserved his gaze for his dinner.

“I’m not sure Billy feels very welcome.” Joyce stated simply, in a way only a mother could, all gazes opposite her ducked down quickly in shame. Apart from El, who was watching Steve eat his dinner, and Max who was boring holes in the boys foreheads. “When Will had just gotten free from _it_ did you put bets on his behaviour?” Joyce asked, letting the quiet stretch until she heard mumbled answers.  
  
“No Mrs. Byers.” Dustin and Mike said. Will shook his head.

“I think an apology might be in order from each of you?” She asked, only really leaving one acceptable answer. Steve glanced up as he finished his meal, looking at the sorry sight opposite from himself.

Once the video was back on and Steve’s empty plate had joined the pile on the coffee table Max looked up at him, Steve felt the gaze so turned to look, worry is what he saw.  
  
“He’s supposed to be waiting with me for when Neil comes to get us.” She whispered, hoping Steve understood the gravity of her words.  
  
He nodded, a little sigh escaping his lips. “I’ll go see where he is, I’m sure he’s just on the porch.” He reassured, and dearly hoped that he was.

-

“Fuck off.” Billy grumbled to Steve as he sat down on the top step of the porch beside him.

“Wow.” Steve’s eyebrows danced in a way only they could, expressing his humoured acceptance of the greeting. “Rude. I was just seeing where you were.”  
  
“Smoking.” Billy replied bluntly.

“Well you don’t smoke, so I’m gonna assume you’re sulking instead.” Steve replied, leaning to press their arms together for a moment in a motion of good intentions.

Billy dropped his head, as if he really wanted to check out a very specific fibre on the fabric of the front of his shirt, thought Steve could tell from the breath pushed out of Billy’s nose his eyes were closed and he was fighting his way through emotions he wasn’t used to dealing with.

Steve let the silence sit with them for a while, letting Billy tell him what he wanted to do or what he was thinking in his own time. If at all. After 10 or so minutes of quiet, Billy lifted his head and dared a glance to Steve before looking out to the woods beyond the back of the house. Steve reached a tentative hand out to Billy’s knee, giving fair warning in case the other boy wanted to pull out of the way. But he didn’t, and Steve let his fingers meet the fabric of Billy’s jeans where his knee was bent, drawing light swirling patterns absently.

“I…” Billy started and then stopped as quickly; Steve could feel the weight of whatever Billy wanted to say. He left the word hanging for a long while before starting again, seemingly changing his entire train of thought in the few moments of quiet. “Do you think Ms. Byers will let me have some dinner still?” He asked quietly, nervous eyes meeting Steve’s own concerned ones.

He smiled back sadly, “Yeah, no question there. You don’t have to ask in this house for anything.” Steve explained, letting the whole weight of his hand fall still on Billy’s knee.

After another while of just quietly sitting in each other’s presence, Steve squeezed Billy’s thigh and stood up, “Come on then, I’ll dish you some casserole up. We can eat in Will’s room.” He said decisively, offering a hand for Billy to pull himself up on. Billy did pull himself up with it, stopping before heading inside.  
  
“We can eat?” He echoed Steve’s words with a question.  
  
Steve smirked before nodding enthusiastically, “Joyce’s fridge usually has a block of chocolate icecream hidden at the back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of writing another/a few more chapters. Tell me if this is something you would want?  
> I'm bronskiibeat.tumblr.com if you want to see what I do over there!
> 
> Thanks for reading!  
> (also I totally didn't spend enough time proofreading, so let me know if you spot any mistakes lol)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Backwards a couple of week from Chapter 1 to Steve and Billy learning to get along

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, thanks gang for the positive reaction to Chapter 1! I've written another, I hope it lives up to expectations.   
> I also hope it's clear that this is a few weeks before Chapter 1, have that in mind as you read. xx

Steve had swung by to get Billy before driving across town to pick Max up, he was sure it didn’t make a lot of sense, he was only going to return Billy along with Max an hour or so later but he didn’t want Billy to feel left out. He’d spent the last week not really talking to Billy but spending time together in the car, picking up the kids, driving to the lake, getting shitty drive through burgers. It was easy.

In the last week since Billy had been released from hospital, Steve had kind of taken it upon himself to befriend the guy, neither willing to discuss the hows or whys. He’d seen how Billy was willing to give up literally everything for El and the kids, and that went a long way in Steve’s books, giving him the opportunity to completely re-evaluate his opinion of Billy. That was how they found themselves in such easy company now, Billy gently nodding his head along to some radio station Steve had chosen, Steve leaning his head towards the window to feel the breeze coming through the inch or so it was open.

Steve had gotten pretty used to his management of expectations regarding Billy Hargrove at school, but this new version was something Steve was yet to be used to. He chose his words carefully, only voiced them if he knew they would be received well or were about trivial topics such as burgers or music, and Steve was surprised to find he enjoyed the quiet company. He didn’t sleep so much anymore, so having someone in the car with him late at night was more comfortable than being alone. He’d loathe to admit it but being tortured by Russians underneath the mall on company time was still kind of bothering him. Though of course this was never verbalised to his newest friend, Steve wasn’t stupid, he knew Billy had his own, worse, shit to deal with. He didn’t need Steve whinging about being punched in the face a couple times.

But he was still curious, he wondered if it was a conscious effort to be a new reformed version of himself, or if Billy had really been so deeply affected that his whole personality had shifted. So he ventured a question across the dash, glancing sideways.

“You don’t have very much to say nowadays?” Steve asked hesitantly, the words halfway out of his mouth before he decided he might actually come to regret them.

Billy looked over to Steve, who’s eyes were firmly concentrated on the road ahead, not wanting to know what expression he was being examined with, keeping his own face quite neutral, hoping his increased heart rate was reserved for his ears only.

Hargrove shrugged his shoulders and turned the radio volume down a fraction, sitting in the quieter space for a moment. “I don’t feel like I have much to say you know?” He finally replied, gaining a quick frowned glance from Steve.  
  
“How so?” He dared to ask, stepping over the eggshells of their first real conversation that even brushed the topic of what happened a couple of weeks prior.

It was quiet again, Tony Hadley’s smooth tones on the radio low against the hum of the engine. They drove for so long that Steve thought that was the end of the conversation, but from the corner of his eye he could see Billy wringing his hands in his lap nervously. Steve didn’t want to push it, so just sat with it, humming along with Spandau Ballet to show he wasn’t going to pry.

A gaze was gently burning into the side of his head, he did his best to ignore it, but after a long moment he glanced round to Billy curiously, then back to the road. The gesture obviously reassuring because Billy’s words came tumbling out.

“I just want everything that comes out of my mouth to be good.” He paused and ducked his head, chin to chest, as if having his mouth closer to his heart would enable to words to go from one to the other quicker “I just want to make sure I’m in control of the words that leave.”   
  
Steve felt all the air leave his chest as a heavy sad weight settled, that wasn’t really what he was expecting, though if he were honest, he didn’t know what he was expecting. “You know it’s gone Billy, it’s not even in this world anymore.”

Billy nodded, pulling his chin up off his chest to look back to the side of Steve’s head. “I’m still…” He screwed his eyes shut and hit his head forcefully against the headrest, “Fuck…”

“It’s okay.” Steve’s voice gently reassured.

“I’m just scared Steve.” Steve hadn’t expected that, but he bit his lip from telling him not to be, he couldn’t tell him not to be scared, that wasn’t fair. In the space Steve left Billy kept talking, more than Steve had heard him ever say about himself, let alone since it all happened. “I’m scared of myself. I didn’t know what was me and what was him. What if I’m just as bad?”

Steve shook his head with a gentle smile. “You’re a dickhead but you’re not a monster.”

Billy huffed out a laugh and squeezed Steve’s elbow playfully. Steve was surprised to hear Billy laughing after such a declaration, but felt better for it, some of his worry lifting.

\--

“You’re really poor at managing your person space.” Billy commented lazily, not really in a position to speak because his own feet were tucked up near Steve’s chest. It was Saturday afternoon and a wintry mix was making the view from the lounge windows increasingly grey and dull. A few days had passed since Billy had opened up some to Steve in the car, they’d gotten used to each other’s company, but Steve noted Billy never really said anything more on the subject of his brevity.

Steve lifted his hand from Billy’s shin where he’d been drawing lazy circles, “Is that a bad thing? I can go sit over there?” He asked, nodding to the sofa nearest the door.

Billy stretched his toes to poke Steve’s armpit. “Nah I’m not saying I mind, I’m just saying you’re very touchy feely sometimes.” He commented idly, still watching Steve rather than the movie. He grabbed Steve’s foot that was near his own chest and pressed a thumb into it, making Steve squirm with the tickle.  
  
“Ah hey!” Steve looked round from the movie to glare, taking his foot out of Billy’s hand and tucking it up under the other boy’s butt. “If you don’t mind, why did you mention it?” He asked, frowning lightly, movie forgotten.

Billy’s full attention quickly turned to whatever shit John Hughes was playing for the first time since they’d sat down to watch it, as if Steve hadn’t just directly addressed him with a question.

Steve pinched the fabric of Billy’s jeans, making sure he got a bit of skin to get Billy’s attention back on him, it worked because a frown turned around to meet his gaze, and then a shrug.  
  
“I dunno, maybe I mentioned it because… I like it?” The question in Billy’s tone was so gentle and nervous, that if Steve’s eyebrows hadn’t hit the ceiling and bounced back into place, they would have dropped so low over his eyes with empathy for the tentativeness with which Billy shared those words.

Steve’s mouth twitched in a uniquely Steve way as hundreds of different words tried their shape on the mouth but didn’t come out, he settled for his usual. “Yeah, okay. Okay.” With a nod and a smile made from pulling the corners of his mouth as far apart as possible.

-  
  
They’d both pulled themselves off the sofa an hour later to pick up Max and El, Steve was supposed to drop them all back round at the Hargrove-Mayfield residence. Neil was out of town on business, somewhere on the East Coast, he wouldn’t be back till Monday evening, so El was staying over. Steve was feeling bold, he glanced sideways at Billy who was nodding along with whatever Rock he’d tuned the radio to as they left the Loch Nora.

“Hey, I was wondering, if you didn’t want to be in a house of girls all evening, you could come back to mine?”   
  
Billy looked up to Steve, whose eyes had returned to the road. A dance they’d gotten used to: look, speak, look away, be looked at, listen, repeat. It was a dance so perfectly choreographed that it meant they rarely made eye contact, as if the weight of that would break the confidence to share words at all. Billy sat with the proposition for a long while, before making his own steps to finish the dance. “Yeah, alright.” He agreed simply.

The girls chattered in the back excitedly as they drove towards Cherry Avenue, Steve picked up snippets of conversation and quickly decided he didn’t even want to listen to the kind of things teenage girls got excited about. A quick glance told him that Billy too was doing his best to divert his attention from them but was failing in not listening from the nauseous look on his face.

As they pulled up outside the house, the rain picked up, the sound on the roof like whoever was throwing the drops down wanted them to come right through and drown them all. Instead of getting out to grab his stuff as he said he would, Billy twisted in his seat to look at Max behind the driver’s seat. “If I stay at Steve’s tonight, will Susan say anything?” He asked, sounding younger than Steve had ever heard him.

Max was quick to reply, “No, she’s… I think she’s changed her mind about you since the fire.” She said carefully, nervously glancing at Steve who was occupying himself with doing his hair in the rear-view mirror so as not to intrude.

“When we go in, will you ask?” The old version of Billy wouldn’t have asked, but this version Steve found himself friends with not only wanted permission for a sleepover, but was also nervous enough about asking to get his younger sister to do it for him. But Max covered her surprise at the question and nodded, the left side of Billy’s lips quirked up in thanks and that was it.   
  
The rain eased, Billy spun back to the front and squeezed his eyes shut as if making a life changing decision. He spun around again after a moment, so obviously he’d been gathering the courage for something. He held a fist out to El who flinched away only slightly. “Nice to see you Eleven.” He murmured quietly.   
  
El just nodded, making eye contact with Billy and his fist in turn. Max grinned and knuckled the offered hand when Billy frowned in confusion at the lack of bump. Max nodded for El to do the same, and after a moment of watching Billy’s confusion turn to amusement, she gently knocked her hand against his. “Cool?” She said, making Steve laugh and Billy get out of the car with a huff of breath.

When Billy threw himself and his kit bag into the passenger seat again 5 minutes later, Steve was watching him with an amused expression. If Steve didn’t know him better by now, the look he got in return would have sent him running for hills for fear of a fight or some sharp words, as it was he reckoned he could get away with a bit of teasing.   
  
“Sorry, who are you?” He asked, frowning at Billy as if he’d never seen him before.  
  
Billy growled low and pressed his hands across his face, Steve just laughed, seeing the humour on the face beside him before it was hidden. “Fuck off Steve.” He grumbled.

They set off, Billy’s pink cheeks returned to their normal colour and Steve switched the radio to some synthy pop. He held a fist out into Billy’s space, and to his credit, Billy bumped it with his own, accompanied by an eye roll.  
  
“Cool.” Steve mimicked, causing Billy’s hard act to give and a laugh to come out and shake his shoulders. The sound of it bouncing around the car was so light that Steve worried they might float away before he could get them home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being here, and thanks for leaving a comment!
> 
> I'm having fun exploring Billy in this way, and also Steve being a supportive boi.   
> IDK really what I'm doing, I didn't start writing till 4 months ago, so please be nice to me lol   
> Love Always, H xoxo  
> (bronskiibeat on tumblr ;) )


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're here again?!   
> I hope you enjoy this 😬

Mrs Byers stood up as Steve led the way back into the house, Billy trailing with a proud posture and calculated disinterested expression. Steve held a conversation with Joyce, but much to Billy’s annoyance without any words. She turned for the kitchen, Steve threw a warning look to Billy who raised his eyebrows in answer, holding back barely from a full eye roll.

When Steve pushed Billy into the kitchen ahead of him, Joyce was dishing up a plate from the crock on the hob, “Do you want potatoes Billy?” She asked, as if she was dishing up the first time and not an hour after everyone else had eaten and there being a small scene about it 20 minutes ago.

Steve leaned against the fridge, crossing his arms over his chest, Billy looked to him like a child at the dentist who wanted their mom to answer for them. Steve just nodded pointedly to Joyce, forcing the other boy to push past his potato fuelled panic and answer before it got weird.   
  
Billy’s voice was quiet and perfectly polite when he replied. “Um, yes please Ms. Byers.” The look he sent to Steve while her back was turned was anything but, and if looks alone could kill, Steve would be dead. Steve had diced with death enough for it to have no effect whatsoever and he just grinned back mischievously. Joyce held out Billy’s dinner, her eyebrows raised in a slight challenge that only a mother as fierce as Joyce could manage to also make look reassuring.   
  
“Billy, I want you to know you’re as welcome here as everyone else.” Joyce told him as she passed his dish. Steve grabbed Billy’s elbow lightly to move him out of the way so he could get a fork out of the drawer behind him, sticking it into his dinner. Billy moved out of the way of the drawer but leaned his weight up against Steve while he was in the drawer, just enough out of the way, but still hindering by being so close.

“Are you sure? I’m only here because Max kept bugging me to stay.” He said, trying to play it off, ducking his gaze from Joyce who was leaning against the counter at the other side of the kitchen.   
  
Steve took his chance and stole a potato off Billy’s plate in revenge for the couple that had been pilfered from his own plate earlier. “And me, don’t forget about _me_. I’ve asked you to come to dinner like 4 times.” He mumbled through his full mouth. Billy made a face of disgust at seeing half eaten carbs, Joyce laughed, smiling fondly.

Billy elbowed Steve back to seriousness, the fact a smile hadn’t even thought about crossing the boys face showing Steve he wanted to say something and was working out the words for it. “Sorry, go on.” Steve said gently, pushing himself to sit on the countertop, balancing his weight on his hands before Joyce motioned him down and his feet touched down on the floor again.  
  
Billy used the small break in conversation to get himself together, pushing his casserole around gently with the fork before speaking. “I don’t want those kids to feel uncomfortable here. They’re safe and happy, and I’m the guy that always changes that for them.”

Steve’s eyes weren’t the windows to his soul, his eyebrows were. And the speed with which they hit the roof told of his surprise that Billy would speak so frankly about that, especially in front of Joyce, an unfamiliar adult in whose house he’d nearly killed Steve. The very Steve who was gaping like a fish beside him.

“Honey, of everyone in this town, those kids know how you feel.” Joyce said reassuringly, offering a small smile, the edges tinted with sadness.   
  
Billy turned his back on Joyce, a spin of a full 180 to face the counter, putting his dish down with perhaps a little more force than required, he ran a hand through his now short hair, grabbing a handful in frustration. He was brandishing his fork in hand when he turned back round to Joyce and Steve, who had stepped across the room to give Billy the space he needed.   
  
“No they don’t.” He ground out through gritted teeth, anger and frustration pushing his chest up and down with the effort of not letting it out. “Nobody knows how this feels!” He shouted.   
  
Joyce stood up a little straighter beside Steve, nodding cautiously to show her understanding of that feeling. Steve stepped forward to grab Billy’s wrist, forcing eye contact with the boy who seemed on the verge of something, just what that something was Steve couldn’t tell. He held the wrist tightly in his hand and just watched Billy, watched as his breathing didn’t slow down, watched as his eyes dampened with the threat of tears. “Down the hall, last on the left.” Billy frowned his confusion, but Steve carried on. “Go and eat your dinner.”

Billy ripped his arm from Steve’s grasp and he was gone, not another word about it. Steve turned to Joyce, who was giving him a sympathetic look. Steve let a shaky breath out and stepped closer, dropping his head onto Joyce’s shoulder, letting himself be pulled into a hug. “I’m trying to help him, but sometimes I just don’t know what to do.” He murmured against her shoulder.   
  
“I know honey, you’re doing a wonderful job.”

Steve let out a sigh and stepped back to smile at Joyce, “So are you.” He said sincerely, causing her to blush and grab a tea towel to swat him with.   
  
“Steve, I mean it.” She urged, “You’ve grown up so much this past year, you’re a responsible and caring young man and you should be proud of yourself.” Now Steve was blushing, ducking his face out of view, shaking his head but unable to shake the smile off.   
  
“Thanks Joyce.” He murmured, shoving his hands into his pockets.  
  
She smiled and nodded down the hall towards where Steve had sent Billy, and without another word she was gone, back to the living room to join whatever the kids had decided on next.

-

Billy was sat at Will’s desk, hunched over his dinner, only the desk lamp gently lighting the room, even from the door Steve could see he was crying. His shoulders shuddered with each breath, eating bites of the casserole in between pulling in deep breaths. Steve’s chest hurt, like someone was squeezing him to do something, but the force of it holding him still. He didn’t know if he should go away and come back later, let Billy work it out for himself. But he’d spent enough time to know the guy would dwell on it so he grabbed the already open door, pulled it half closed and put on a face that didn’t show the discomfort of his heart before pushing it open so Billy could hear he was there.   
  


“Alright?” He said lightly, not expecting Billy to even look at him so wasn’t disappointed when he didn’t get a greeting in return. He flopped himself down on Will’s bed, staring up at the ceiling, Billy in his periphery.

Neither of them said anything for a long while, Billy finished his dinner and wiped his eyes, settling into the comfortable presence of the only person he managed to feel truly comfortable with.

“Good huh?” Steve asked, dropping his head off the bed to look at Billy upside down.  
  
Billy shifted his chair to look at Steve, frowning down when he saw he was upside down, some amusement colouring the previously bleak eyes. “What?” He tried to clarify.  
  
“Joyce’s cooking.” Steve said with a smile, as if he was describing the love of his life, closing his eyes as if daydreaming about it.  
  
When he heard a laugh in return Steve felt his job done, he loved that sound and made a mental note to search for it whenever he could. He spun to sit up on the edge of the bed, poking at Billy’s shins absently with his toes.  
  
“Yeah, it was really good actually. I should… I should have eaten when everyone else did.” He conceded, rubbing his hands over his face as if those words coming out of his mouth and made him realise how tired he was.  
  
“Why didn’t you?” Steve asked gently, eyes reserved only for Billy.  
  
Billy shrugged, moving his leg so Steve’s feet weren’t on his shins anymore, kicking his feet idly together with Steve’s. However small the touch was, Steve always felt reassured by Billy’s physical presence, as if when he was parted from him he didn’t exist, their feet together somehow holding each together, and both to the ground.

Billy’s words were tentative, Steve gave them space to come out, not rushing him along. “I thought… I’m…” He growled in his throat, breathing in slowly to work out how to make the feelings come out as words Steve would understand. “I didn’t want to get my hopes up.” Billy huffed out finally.  
  
Steve understood that, he’d been a bit standoffish himself when he’d started coming round every week, letting Joyce mother him and the kids run rings round him. He felt like he didn’t want to get too settled with it in case it was taken away from him. He felt he should probably tell Billy that. “Joyce, and her cooking, will be here for you as long as you need.” He said seriously, waiting for Billy to make eye contact before carrying on. “I know how you feel buddy, we’re in this together yeah?” He said gently, thinking back to how Joyce’s similar sentiment had been taken. He kicked Billy when he dropped his chin to his chest, forcing an answer.   
  
“Yeah. I know that. Yeah.” He murmured.

Steve stood abruptly, pulling Billy’s curious gaze with him, he crossed the step between them and put his hands on Billy’s shoulders.   
  
“Just maybe don’t wave your fork at her next week? Like who do you think you are? That king of the sea, whatever he’s called?” He said, frown pinned on Billy’s face.

Billy laughed and grabbed Steve, pulling him into his space for a hug, the first time he’d ever initiated such blatant request for affection. “Poseidon you moron.” He mumbled against Steve’s neck.  
  
A gentle knock at the door pulled Steve away from Billy to see who it was, Will was stood there silhouetted against the hallway light. “Um, mom said she’s got ice-cream if you guys want to come get some?” He said nervously, hands wringing in front of himself.  
  
Billy stood up beside Steve, “Yeah Bill, that would be good.” He said. Steve spun to look at him with a face that read ‘are you honestly that much of a fucking idiot’. Will cracked a smile at the look Steve was giving Billy, laughing out loud as Steve actually found it in him to speak.  
  
“Are you fucking serious?!” He asked, waving a hand towards Will. “Bill. BILL?!” He poked an accusing finger into the middle of Billy’s chest, making him rock back on his heels with an amused look. “You’re fucking Bill, he’s called WILL!”

Billy laughed, Will laughed, and Steve looked between them with wide eyes as if he’d just woken up in a horrible horrible nightmare.

Will bounced off down the hall leaving Steve gaping at Billy, “Did you seriously not know his name?” He asked incredulously, frowning at Billy’s smug look.   
  
“Course I do, I’m fucking with you.” He smiled, lifting his chin high in victory. And even though Steve should be mad at him, the confidence of the picture before him, even if it only lasted 5 minutes was far more important to him.

He shook his head, mouth dropped open to say something but not knowing what, a frown pulling at his eyes. The words that tumbled out did not go through his brain, because as he said them, he heard them for the first time himself. “And yet somehow I still love you?”

-  
  
After what Steve can only describe as an aggressive viewing of Jeopardy and bowls of chocolate ice cream, Steve found himself sitting on the back porch with Billy in the cool night air to wait for Mr Hargrove.

Billy was watching clouds pass over the moon, Steve was tying and untying his shoelaces as they sat in their familiar silence, but there was something in the air that made Steve uncomfortable. Maybe it was the knowledge that they’d both heard him say ‘and yet somehow I still love you’ in the hope a joke but with the humor rubbed off. He chewed his lip and hoped Billy would pretend it had been funny with him, he couldn’t bare for his slip to change things between them.

Billy looked round to Steve, Steve kept his eyes on his shoes, anticipating the dance they were both becoming professional at. “You know how you said you love me?” Well it seemed Steve _was_ going to have to have that conversation after all. He pulled in a slow breath, letting his shoulders ride it like a wave.   
  
“Yeah, it.. I was… It was meant to be a joke, I know you’re not… I didn’t mean anything weird…” He mumbled out, trailing off to nothing. Looking up to Billy he expected his gaze to have moved away and was surprised to find they were looking right at each other. Billy watched Steve for a long time, as if searching for some courage in his eyes. When he finally spoke it was quiet and tentative, as if he were admitting to an unforgivable crime.  
  
“ What if I loved you too though?”   
  
Steve knew he should keep this conversation with the weight it carried, but he shifted uncomfortably, regretting it when he saw Billy’s face fall slightly but not trusting himself with seriousness, slipping on his red nose to clown.  
  
“Well then I guess we would have to get married, have kids and get a dog.” He replied with a smile, leaning back on a hand to be able to see all of Billy’s face.   
  
Billy nodded thoughtfully, as if Steve had spoken without jest and was seriously considering the suggestion. He sent his gaze back up to the sky, wringing his hands as had become habit when he wanted to say something but was unsure about it. Steve sat and watched, waiting for whatever Billy’s hands could sculpt for him to say.  
  
“Can I ask you a serious question?” He asked, voice barely above a whisper, eyes glancing back to Steve uncertainly.

Steve nodded, not wanting to interrupt Billy’s words as they floated in the space between them both. He sat up to face Billy, to show he wasn’t clowning, he was listening, like Joyce had said he was a caring young man.

Billy chewed his lip, keeping Steve’s eye contact, eyes flicking briefly down his face before he met his gaze again and spoke. “Can I kiss you?”   
  
Steve swallowed but an unknowing smile tugged gently at the corners of his lips, “Yeah.” He breathed as quietly as he could, not wanting to blow the trust between them away. “Alright, yeah.”  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for joining me on this!   
> I'm thinking of 2 more chapters, so please stick around for that if you're enjoying yourself!  
> I'm back to work in 8 days, so I'm hoping to have it done before then!  
> (bronskiibeat on tumblr if you want to stalk me xoxo)
> 
> Leave a comment to make me happy!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, we are back to where chapter 2 leaves off!  
> Enjoy friends!

The drive back to Steve’s place was quiet without Max and El in the car, Billy didn’t even argue about the sickly-sweet pop Steve was tapping his fingers along to. He was clipping and unclipping the clasp of the bag of stuff he’d brought, an anxious tick if ever Steve had seen one. “Doing okay?” He asked, glancing to his passenger.

Billy nodded, “I’ve got a tenner if you want to swing by KFC on the way.” Was all he answered, avoiding Steve’s question altogether. Steve nodded, mentally changing his route to be able to go through the newly opened KFC a block up from the high street.  
  
“Has anyone ever told you how much I love KFC?” He asked, a smile breaking on his face.

Billy huffed his amusement, turning his gaze finally to Steve, shaking his head.

“I’m the fucking king of KFC.” Steve said, nodding his confidence at the statement, a smouldering look on his lips as he glanced at himself in the rear-view mirror. Billy finally laughed out loud, and Steve felt his fake smugness with himself become real at the sound of it.

-

Time was pushing on, Steve had pulled himself off the sofa an hour ago to draw the curtains, shutting out the dark, the whistling of the wind, the flickering of tree shadows cast by the house lights. He wanted to make the house as cosy as possible and having a sofa with a friend and blankets on was spoiled by the constant anxious pull of his gaze outside, so he finally caved and pulled the curtains closed. The family bucket was sat finished on the coffee table, an old Hollywood film playing on the TV, Samson and Delilah or something. Steve wasn’t really following along, there was a lot going on and he was feeling drowsier by the minute.

The evening with Billy had been easy, they’d played on Steve’s Nintendo, eaten their fill of greasy chicken, and fallen back onto the sofa the same way they had been that afternoon, opposite ends but stretched out, feet and legs tanged easily against one another.

Steve was listening to what he assumed was the rousing last action scene of the film, it seemed to have been on for about 4 hours and with his eyes closed it was increasingly difficult to follow. Billy’s quiet voice pushed his eyes open.  
  
“Steve.” When Steve opened his eyes and looked to show he was listening Billy carried on. “I want you to cut my hair.”

Steve’s eyes went wide and he pulled himself to sit up, crossing his legs up into his own space again to sit looking at Billy across from him. “You, you want me to what?”

Billy closed his eyes and raised his eyebrows as if keeping from stating the obvious or making a snide comment, when he opened them again he’d mastered sincerity. “I want you to cut my hair.” He said with more confidence.

Steve nodded, “Yeah that’s what I thought you said.” He murmured, brow furrowed thoughtfully. “But if I’m following the film properly, that’s where all your power is?”  
  
Billy smiled, shaking his head fondly. “I’m not fucking Samson Steve. I’m serious. Will you help do it?” 

Steve watched Billy for a long time, pushing one of his feet back out towards the other guy to rest his foot against Billy’s shin. “Yeah, if it’s what you want, of course I will. But why? Why now?”

Billy shrugged, directing his attention to the hem of his shirt, spinning a thread between his fingers. “Well maybe my power is in my hair, but it’s not… I’m not…” He sucked in a breath, a growl in the back of his throat telling of his frustration as he worked out the words. “I’m not that me anymore, I don’t want it. I’m different.” He finished, voice barely above a whisper, forcing Steve to lean closer to hear.

“You wanna do it now? Just get it done?”

Billy nodded decisively, flinching a little as Steve jumped up to his feet without warning, nodding to the door. “Come on then.” He said with a mischievous grin.

Billy was hovering nervously near the door as Steve rummaged in the cupboard under the bathroom sink. He came up victorious with a pair of hair scissors and a hair trimmer in a small plastic container, turning to grin at Billy, the look faltering as he took in the other boy.   
  
“Are you sure you want to?” He asked, setting the box on the counter, giving his full attention to Billy.

There was a battle happening in Billy’s eyes, Steve was watching it quite certain that if he didn’t do something to stop it, it would eat Billy up completely. “Bill.” He whispered, stepping into his space, looking up to force their eyes to meet properly. Billy blinked it away and nodded, swallowing the losing emotion down and offering a shy shimmer of a smile.   
  
“Yeah, lets do it.”  
  
Steve nodded, stepping back and looking at himself and Billy behind him in the mirror. “Do you want to sit on the edge of the tub, then all the hair can go in there?” He suggested, Billy thought that sounded sensible and sat down tentatively on the edge of the bath.   
  
“If you cut my ear I’m gonna kill you Steve.” He mumbled, rubbing sweaty palms along his jeans.  
  
“I’ll have you know, I’ve only ever cut my own ear like twice, so I’m basically a pro.” Billy laughed at that, shaking his head and looking at Steve with mock worry, Steve grinned back, scissors ready.   
  
“Take your shirt off so you don’t get itchy.” Steve said, throwing a hand towel to Billy who caught it in his lap.

“I… It’s fine… I’ll change when we’re done.” Billy offered, suddenly back inside himself.

“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” Steve replied, shrugging idly and turning his attention to his own hair in the mirror, pushing stray bits where he wanted them.  
  
“Yes it is!” Billy said a bit too loudly, causing Steve to turn and look at Billy, forcing himself to see. He saw fear and embarrassment and he hated that he’d pushed that to the top. He nodded to concede the point, showing Billy he understood and wouldn’t push him to explain.   
  
“Ready for the best haircut you’ve ever had then?” He asked, stepping up into the bath behind Billy, scissors in hand.

Billy rolled his eyes, but Steve couldn’t see his face in the mirror now he was sat on the edge of the bath. “I don’t believe anyone’s had a _good_ haircut at 1:30am, so just do it Pretty Boy.” He said, confidence in his words pulled seemingly from the echo of his old self.

Steve grinned and pulled the back of Billy’s hair round in his hand and put the scissors to it. “Last chance...” He said.  
  
“Do it.” Billy urged, and Steve did. He chopped a handful off in one go, leaving Billy’s mullet significantly shorter, and now somewhat lopsided.

“Fuck.” He muttered.  
  
“Fuck. Fuck?!” Billy echoed, turning his head to look at Steve who was grinning wildly and held up the hand of hair for Billy to see. Billy looked back with complete wide mouthed fear before smiling back, a laugh tickling his chest as he stared at Steve.

“No going back now, Steve. You better do a good job.” He jibed, reaching to take the handful of hair and sit back round.

Half an hour and lots of gentle arguments and reassurances later, Steve thought he was done. On Billy’s request he’d cut it shorter than his own hair, it was longer on the top, but a closer cut on the sides, and Steve was pretty sure he’d done a good job. He’d been cutting his own hair for a good few years now, not wanting to spend his parents allowance on haircuts in their absence, choosing usually to spend it on beer for parties, though that was a version of Steve long past. He kind of understood how Billy felt about wanting to change everything to match his new self, even just being the barber for that felt weirdly liberating.

Billy brushed all the hair off his shoulders into the bath behind him, pulling at the neckline to get stray hairs out from tickling his back. Steve stepped out of the bath and started putting stuff away in the cupboard. “Take it off.” He dared gently, sitting on the closed toilet lid to look at Billy, Billy who seemed to have taken on the tone seriously because he looked back with a fierce defiance before grabbing the bottom of his shirt and pulling it off and dumping it in the bath with one movement, turning around to look in the mirror for the first time.  
  
“Woah.” He whispered, seeing his hair for the first time.

Steve stood up to look into the mirror with Billy, noticing the scarring that Billy obviously wanted to hide from him before his haircut. “Is it okay?” He asked, making eye contact in the mirror.

“I look like someone else.” He murmured, running hands repeatedly through his hair to feel it in his fingers. Steve stepped closer, watching over Billy’s shoulder and shaking his head.   
  
“Nah, you look like _you.”_ He replied gently. “This you.”

Billy smiled gently and nodded, diverting his gaze to his chest, lifting idle fingers to run over the scar tissue, still pink and raised only a few weeks out from it all. Steve’s eyes followed Billy’s hands as they self-consciously tracked all the new parts of himself.

“This isn’t me though, this is disgusting.” He muttered, revealing more vulnerability than Steve had ever seen in him these last couple of weeks. It made his chest tight in a way that he wanted to grab Billy and make him understand he was there for him, that he was a better person.

He hesitated to reply for a moment before deciding on action, he reached for Billy’s hands, grabbing them at the wrists to pull them to his sides, his own chest pushed against Billy’s back to reach around him, looking at his face in the mirror. “This is you. Look.”  
  
Billy looked at Steve defiantly, refusing to look at himself, unable to keep Steve’s gaze and closing his eyes and dropping his head. Steve hated seeing such defeat in his new friend, he deserved so much better, but he understood it, he got how it felt to be your own worst enemy. He squeezed Billy’s wrists.  
  
“Look.” He implored, and to some surprise he actually did, staring at himself with a dark look. Steve let go of his hands and stepped back, hands on hips.  
  
“Steve…” Billy asked, as if begging him to let him leave, to let him go curl up and cry somewhere, wet eyes turning to face Steve properly, making eye contact without the mirror between them, somehow more meaningful.

“All of this shows you’re alive, it’s _good._ You’re _you_. And I’m happy about that.” Steve replied firmly, not taking his eyes off Billy’s to show he meant every word. He nodded once and then slipped out of the bathroom to his room to let Billy sort himself out and get dressed into a new shirt and brush the hair off his shoulders.

Steve was laying on his back on his bed, head hanging off the edge when Billy appeared nervously at the door, he’s styled his new hair, and had changed into t-shirt and joggers. Steve wasn’t sure he’d ever seen the guy look so casual.   
  
“Smart lid Hargrove.” He smiled, giving Billy the surety in himself to come into the room, sitting at the opposite side of the bed, feet bouncing on the floor.  
  
“My ears feel weird. There’s so much air around them.” With a laugh Steve lazily flopped his head round to look over Billy who was smiling back.   
  
“I’m sure you’ll get used to it.” He laughed.

After a couple of records played through and easy companionship Billy poked Steve in the armpit causing him to squirm away but not open his eyes from his position laid across the foot of the bed.   
  
“What?” He murmured.  
  
“Tell me when you want to go to sleep, I’ll go next door.” Billy said quietly, finger keeping his place in a book he’d pulled from Steve’s shelf as he’d made a little tour of the room earlier while Steve changed records.   
  
“It’s cool, I don’t really do that anymore.” Steve said, looking round at Billy.

“Sleep?” Billy clarified, incredulity clear in his tone, eyebrows knitted together in their confusion.

Steve pushed himself to sit up and face Billy, slouching over the edge of bed slightly, “Yeah it’s not my favourite thing to do. And I mean it’s well into the small morning hours and you’ve not gone to bed. So you can’t be a huge fan either.” He countered, reaching his leg out as far as he could to knock the book gently in Billy’s hands, not really for a purpose, but he felt the need to reach out.

Billy just shrugged, leaning his hand and the book out of reach, pretending his attention was focused on reading entirely and ignoring Steve pointedly. Steve knew a lost battle when he saw one, so flopped back across the foot of his bed to close his eyes again. He found words tumbling out of his mouth, somehow comfortable enough with his new friend to tell him things he’d not really even told himself.

“Man it’s fucked me up, you know?” He asked, not really expecting an answer so carrying on his explanation. “When I sleep I see them, pulling out my fingernails, screwing my thumbs, injecting my neck, pulling out teeth. It’s worse every time I put my head down. I jump if someone I don’t know touches me, I freak out at loud noises. I fucking hate it you know?” The tone questioning but vague enough that he didn’t expect an answer, eyes flying open when he did.   
  
“Yeah, I know.” Billy whispered, setting the book down beside him on the bed, watching Steve watch the ceiling.

Steve sucked in a long breath. He’d only really been friends with this guy for about a week or two, and here they were at 3am sharing their deepest secrets. Steve felt in that moment that he would do anything to help Billy get over Starcourt and all the shit that had led them there, he felt more protective of his school bully than he ever had of anyone else in the world (well except the kids but that was a given for Steve), he really was fucked up.

He sat up carefully, resting his hands on Billy’s bent knees, forcing himself to keep serious, this wasn’t a laughing matter, this wasn’t bros helping bros, this was deep trauma they were sharing. He hated that word, but Joyce used it and said if he couldn’t even commit to using the word, he was never going to get better at dealing with it.

“I know what you went through is so different to me, but you can talk to me about anything. You could maybe speak to Will about it; he would get it, if not me.” He said quietly, squeezing Billy’s knees gently.

Billy kept his gaze for a moment, showing Steve the offer had been taken on board, his words spoke differently. “No offence Steve, but he’s like 12.”   
  
“He’s 15 nearly.” Steve replied with frowning eyes but a smiling mouth.

Humour showed itself to Steve in Billy’s eyes as he replied, “Oh, well yes, that makes much more sense, I’ll ask him his opinions of his possession.” He pushed his legs straight, one either side of Steve, trapping him there. He put on an amazingly fake smile and a mock British accent, incredibly bad but in such a way Steve could laugh at the joke with him instead of feeling the butt of it.

“Oh hello small child, did he make _you_ kill anyone with your bare hands. Hahaha, isn’t it wonderful!”

Steve rolled his eyes and launched himself at Billy to playfight, his brain automatically autopiloting his fingers away from digging into any of the places he knew Billy’s scars were, holding most of his weight off the boy he knew was still healing. He reached up to ruff his hair up, “Fuck off, I’m tryna help!” He laughed, enjoying the sound of it echoed.  
  
“Hey I _just_ got my hair done!” Billy protested, pushing back at Steve’s arms to try and fight him off.  
  
“I hear you have an incredibly talented barber!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're enjoying this and the vibes carry through, I struggle with recognising if the tone is the same throughout a piece of work. So do let me know if you think it's carried through or gone astray!
> 
> Leave a comment to make me happy, and stay tuned for Chapter 5 the final chapter of this work xx


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! Last chapter gang!  
> I hope this is a satisfying place to leave this for y'all!

Steve hadn’t made it to the Byer’s for dinner in the last couple of weeks, one night of his parents being home and hosting a dinner tied him down, and a late shift at the Video Store meant he missed another. Billy kept him up to date on the gossip, Steve had managed to push him into going without him for the first time in the half year since their first dinner there together. The one where they totally weren’t a thing and then were maybe a thing, and then a few days after were definitely a thing.

Steve liked that their first kiss had been on the Byer’s front porch. It was like playing a game on neutral ground, a place they both felt completely free to be the truest versions of themselves. Joyce might as well have adopted them both for the investment she put into their wellbeing and relationship with each other but also the rest of the gang. Steve lapped up the attention, though even now Billy was still hesitant.

They pulled up on the drive, the racket Steve suspected was the result of some sort of crazy cowboys vs. inter-dimensional monsters game the kids had taken to playing in the yard.

Before he could get out Steve met Billy’s hand on the stick-shift as he put the car into park, looking up to his face with a smile. “I’m so happy.” He said stupidly, his smile cracking into a grin. Billy smiled back, shaking his head. “I’m really happy for you Steve.” He deadpanned back, gentle sarcasm poking fun at his boyfriend.

“Oh fuck off!” Steve laughed, throwing himself out of the door but hanging back for Billy so they could approach the house together.   
  
Will and El were sitting at the table under the porch, looked like they were playing checkers, Jonathan was across the yard under the hood of his car. To Steve’s utter shock the nerd patrol were playing soccer on the lawn, a goalpost made from 2 fence stakes at the far end. His mouth was still hanging open when Joyce came out to greet them, “Soccer.” Steve murmured as he was pulled into a hug and a kiss planted on his temple.   
  
“Soccer Steve, I’m as lost as you.” She laughed, releasing Steve to let him continue gaping at the kids.  
  
“Hey Billy.” She greeted warmly, not giving him the same physical affection she did to Steve, to which Steve knew Billy was always grateful. Billy was used to Steve’s touchy-feely nature, they’d gotten settled to being comfortable incredibly quickly, even before they’d even _considered_ dating. But outside of that Billy didn’t touch other people at all, he couldn’t stand it. Joyce had worked that one out incredibly quickly and Steve was glad Billy was exempt from that potentially awkward conversation.  
  
Billy smiled his greeting back to Joyce, following Steve’s still mouth-open gaze to where Max was running around with her arms in the air.   
  
“She used to play for the under 11’s in Cali.” He offered as way of explanation. Joyce nodded as if that cleared things up.   
  
“From what I understand, they’re playing girls vs. boys. And she’s winning.” Steve spun to gape at Joyce now, his mouth hadn’t actually closed since he arrived.

  
Joyce took her leave, and after glancing at Steve almost for permission which he found in a small nod, Billy followed. He’d taken to helping in the kitchen, he enjoyed the methodical nature of cooking, the order and the structure to the whole process. And without Steve at dinner, he stuck close to Joyce as the adult about the house, the one who’d first told him he was truly welcome.   
  
Steve thought about following but didn’t want to intrude. He knew after himself, Joyce was Billy’s most trusted confidant on his thoughts and feelings, he wanted to give Billy that time with her. He slung his jacket onto a seat beside El with a wink, causing her to smile generously back, and he was off, down the field, tackling Max much to her dismay.

“Come on boys, lets even up the teams!” He shouted with a laugh.

It was an hour before dinner was ready, Billy was leaning against the kitchen counter when Steve came in from the yard in search of a glass of water. He stopped at the doorway, watching Billy doing nothing, it was such a picture of relaxation that they’d worked so hard to achieve and thoughts flew back to that first day Billy had stood in the kitchen afraid to even ask for a dish, and here he was practically cooking for the whole rabble.

He crossed the room, ignoring the fact the back of shirt was sticking with sweat to his back, his face red and hair messed. Joyce was hovering over the hob, tea towel over her shoulder as she saw to everything coming together there.   
  
“You look disgusting.” Billy commented as Steve approached him, Steve frowned playfully, watching Billy push himself up onto the counter to sit.   
  
“I love you too.” He smiled, flirty eyes meeting Billy. “Hey Joyce, why does Billy get to sit on the counter top but I don’t?” He asked, stepping between Billy’s legs to lean his sweaty head against his chest, much to Billy’s disgust.  
  
“He doesn’t.” Joyce said, turning to swat Billy’s knee with her tea towel, only gaining a raised eyebrow from Billy in return. Steve was glad they could have this. All of it. Billy could be a little rebellious towards an adult and not fear any real consequences because the love ran deeper. Steve could lean up and press a kiss to the underneath of his boyfriend’s chin without fear of being disowned or pulled apart for it. It was happy, he was happy and the hum from above him was happy too.

  
“Mom! When is-“ Will stopped at the door, eyes wide as he saw Steve and Billy across the room from him. Steve was a bit concerned at the look, but it quickly disappeared and manifested into mischief, something Steve was even more concerned about.   
  
“Good Evening William.” The youngster greeted incredibly formally; hand outstretched to Billy. Steve stepped out of the lock of Billy’s legs, leaning beside Joyce with curious expectation.

Billy knocked his head against the cupboard above his head, a grin tugging at his lips as he tried to keep a straight face, Steve watched on bewildered as Billy put on a British voice on. “Good Evening William, how are you William?”   
  
“Fine thank you William, how are you William?” Billy took Will’s hand and shook it politely, inclining his head as part of the act before replying.  
  
“I’m wonderful William, thank you for asking.” Will inclined his head, stepped past Billy to look at what his mom was doing and then bounced out of the kitchen as quickly as he arrived.  
  
Steve’s mouth was gaping again as he stared at Billy incredulously, he stepped the small distance between them to lean up against his leg, shaking his head. “Excuse me, what the fuck?” He asked, sending a look towards Joyce who just shrugged her own confusion as she was dishing up 10 plates of dinner, that taking most of her attention.   
  
Billy laughed, and it was never not music to Steve’s ears. “What the fuck, what?” He asked, leaning his head so his face was up to Steve’s own, eyes daring but playful.  
  
“The first time we came here you didn’t even know that kids name. And then you didn’t speak to him for about 3 months. And now it’s ‘Good Evening William!’, what is that about!?” Steve demanded, mocking Billy’s tone in the middle.  
  
Billy couldn’t help but smiling, knocking his head shyly into Steve’s shoulder. “Yeah well I’ve gotten to know him a bit more while you’ve been too busy for us.” Billy said as he knocked his head back and stuck his tongue out at Steve, Joyce threw a tea towel at them.  
  
“Can someone do the potatoes, there’s butter in the fridge.” Steve took the towel and stepped out of Billy’s space so he could jump down and grab the butter to mash.

“On it Joyce!” Steve said as he stood to attention, not actually doing anything to contribute his help to the meal.  
  
“And whatever you’ve been chatting with Will about Billy, it’s done him good. He’s been so out of himself these past few weeks.”

Billy sent a proud look over his shoulder to Steve who smiled back fondly, he knew exactly what the William’s were conferencing about. And Steve was happy Billy had gotten himself to a position where he could speak about what happened to him, if not to him, at least to someone else who maybe understood it a bit more.   
  
“He’s a good kid.” Billy said gently in reply to Joyce, sharing a soft look over the dinner before going back to dishing up.

Dinner passed amicably, Max and Dustin got into an argument about soccer teams in England, Steve had to admit he knew nothing about league soccer when his opinion was requested. Billy and Steve had stolen 20 minutes to themselves in the garden, the sun was just going down, and the time stretching ahead of them felt infinite. It felt like they would lay there in that moment of sunset forever, everything perfectly aligned around them.

“Steve?” Billy whispered, breaking their comfortable silence, something Steve never took for granted. He thought back to all those months ago when Billy would sit silently in his car, afraid of the words coming out of his mouth, and how that was so different to now. Billy was still quiet, but not through fear, through gentle thoughtfulness.

“Hmm?” Steve replied gently, taking his eyes from the horizon to look at the side of Billy’s face.   
  
“Thanks.” He replied, turning his head to catch Steve’s gaze, the blue of the sky reflected there in his eyes.

Steve wrinkled his brow together, “For?”

Billy rolled his eyes but the look that rolled back down on his face was fond.   
  
“Everything.” He whispered.  
  
Steve caught up, smiling wide. He reached a hand to clasp over Billy’s, squeezing gently. “Can I kiss you?” He asked, eyes glancing to Billy’s lips.  
  
“Only you can.” Billy smiled, already leaning forward. Steve leaned towards him, meeting his lips gently, his free hand gently finding the back of Billy’s neck.

A moment stretched before them for eternity, and when Billy pulled back he was surprised the boy before him was still a teenager and not an old man for all the time that it felt he’d been kissing him. He smiled up at Steve, “We’re alright, aren’t we?”   
  
Steve nodded his happy reply. “We are _so_ alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for joining me on this little journey.   
> Thoughts and feelings welcomed in the comments!
> 
> Big Love, H


End file.
